Maya Vander is mourning the loss of her baby, Mason Miller.

On Dec. 10, the Selling Sunset star shared the heartbreaking news that she had a stillbirth 38 weeks into her pregnancy. “Yesterday was the hardest day of my life,” she began her Instagram post. “I had a still birth at 38 weeks. I always heard of it but never imagined I’ll be part of the statistics.”

“Instead of delivering a baby, I get to go home with a memory box… I do not wish this on anyone,” she continued. “What was a regular weekly checkup turned into a nightmare that I never imagine will happen to me. Given I share my pregnancies in the show I knew I’ll have to post about this and avoid the ‘when is your due date’ question. You will always be in our heart Mason Miller.”

Maya, who is mom to kids Aiden, 2, and Elle, 19 months, announced her third pregnancy over the summer.